As I sit here chewing my thoughts at my local Starbucks, I can’t help but wonder what the peers of my past are up to. I trot over to Facebook and do a few Google searches and engage in what winds up being a truly self-deprecating experience.
Social media is good for that.
As the snow finally falls, and I sip my coffee I think the following thing in a loop:
“She’s hotter than me.” “He’s making more money than me.” “They’re married? They look so happy, they have a house and a bunch of other nice stuff.” “She loves her job, I wish I could love mine.” “Oh, she’s doing really visible art and people know her!”
While I pine away for the same notoriety, it becomes sodddingly clear that I am not enough.
What? I was content 5 minutes ago, why do I want to crawl under a rock now?
It’s not real. None of it is real. It’s the best version possible of D all of the above. And it sucks. And it’s painful to look at. And I hate it, but I’m happy at the same time because I know these people pretty well. And that makes it weird.
So, if, like me, your curiosity is getting the better of you on these last days of the year, stop. Everyone is on their own timeline and doing their own thing at their own pace. That’s cool.
There is no way things should be. We are envious of others because they’re following a well played out and throughly expected path through life. We want it, even when it doesn’t fit because that’s what’s celebrated. In the media. In our parents and grandparents lives. It’s what’s easiest because it’s already mapped out with goals and expectations. But it doesn’t fit everyone, and that’s amazing.
For the rest of us pioneers who really don’t give a fuck deep down, but keep trying to convince ourselves that we do, It don’t mean a thing, if it ain’t got that swing.
Happy new year.